Once Upon Hillwood
by rebel rayne
Summary: A collection of oneshots parodying well-known fairytales such as Snow White and Cinderella with various HA! pairings. Reviews much appreciated for this experiment.


**_Please note that all of the 'Once Upon Hillwood' oneshots are based upon well-known fairytales. These stories will hopefully be more entertaining and somewhat of a parody than anything else. Some of the fairytales will be based on the actual stories rather than the Disney versions. I will disclose that in a paragraph before the story begins such as this one. Rhonda Lloyd and the Seven Dorks will be based more so on the Disney version of Snow White than the Brothers Grimm version so I would like to disclose that not only am I not affiliated with Craig Bartlett and Hey Arnold! but also Disney._**

**_O_**nce upon a time, there was a beautiful teenager named Simone. She was deemed as the most gorgeous and popular girl at Hillwood High School at the age of 14 and had even won the affection of every boy in the neighborhood of Hillwood. She had been wishing for a girl who she could lean on at any time as a friend and had decided to help Rhonda Lloyd become popular like Simone. She soon found Rhonda's friendship to be an important part of her life but didn't feel threatened by her. Although Rhonda had been cute in elementary school, she had yet to go through puberty like the rest of her schoolmates had. Rhonda's awkward and lanky body had become her worst enemy, making Simone feel even more desired while she stood next to her.

Simone had begun to be more and more vain with every passing month. Every day she would ask her most beloved admirer, Sid the same thing over and over, all whilst glaring at herself in the mirror she kept hanging in her locker. "Oh Sid who knows all about the Hillwood halls, who is the prettiest of them all?" Simone would ask to this Sid would always respond: "You, Simone, are the prettiest of all." Then she would be satisfied as she knew that Sid always spoke the truth.

Over the summer, Simone did not see Rhonda as she was away in Paris with her wealthy parents. When Rhonda returned, she had seemed to fill out and receive the curves that Mother Nature had been keeping from her all of these years. Once she stepped foot into the halls of Hillwood High, all eyes were on her. Simone payed no attention and once again began her ritual and asked Sid: "Oh Sid who knows all about the Hillwood halls, who is the prettiest of them all?" to this, Sid responded: "You are pretty, Simone. This much is true but it seems now that Rhonda is the prettiest of all."

This had caused Simone to become green with envy and she decided to take drastic measures. She knew if she took the popularity away from Rhonda, if she casted her aside and left her out in the cold that she would soon redeem her reputation as the prettiest girl of Hillwood High. She quickly went to Wolfgang and ordered him to make sure that there was no way Rhonda would get a locker in the main hall. "Make sure she gets one with all those losers she used to hang out with at P.S. 118," Simone hissed. "I never want to see her in this part of the school again."

Wolfgang obeyed and quickly gave away all the lockers in the main hall, even to seniors who had never seen the daylight of this hall. He had volunteered to help with locker registration and succeeded to keep Rhonda out of the main hall. He saw Rhonda and began to lead her to her new and "improved" locker location. He couldn't help but feel sorry for her and this made him speak up. "Go to your new locker," he said. "And never return to the main hall unless you want to feel the wrath of Simone." To this, Rhonda quickly walked to her new locker.

When she finally came to it, she found the placement a bit eerie. The fluorescent lights flickered softly, causing Rhonda to place a hand above her hand to shield her eyes. She could hear water hitting the floor violently. _Drip, drop. Drip, drop. _She grasped onto her books and tried to get into her locker. She noticed a small table a bit further down the hall, counting the chairs to find there were seven total. She heard a few voices coming down the hall and spun around. Seven familiar faces glared at her, eyes eating her alive.

"What are _you_ doing down here, princess?" Helga said grumpily. She had a travel coffee mug in one hand and a small pink binder in the other. She no longer wore her hair in pigtails, Rhonda noticed and had finally plucked her monobrow.

Lorenzo yawned, he had obviously not changed his ways and worked himself until early mornings still. He leaned against the lockers and seemed uninterested in Rhonda's presence. Eugene knocked into him after sneezing but Eugene ended up hitting his elbow on the metal lockers. "Ow!" he cried. "I'm- I'm okay."

"Are you ever so certain, Eugene?" Lila asked, all too perky for Rhonda's taste, especially this early in the morning.

"Gosh Miss Lila," Stinky paused, blushing a little. "You look prettier than Cow Parsnip in the moonlight today."

Upon hearing Stinky's compliment to Lila, Harold put his hands on his head. "What?" he said. "Stop it, Stinky! What does that mean? Aw, you're confusing me!" He had obviously not gained any more intelligence since the fourth grade, Rhonda thought quietly to herself.

"Hello?" Helga grunted. "Are you going to answer or not?"

Rhonda stared at Helga, wondering what had happened to the friendship she had once harbored with each of the people standing in front of her. "It's just-" Rhonda hesitated. "Simone has made me an outcast! She is purposely leaving me out so that people will continue to think she is more beautiful than I am. Please, you guys have to let me stay here. You're the only ones I have now." Rhonda had almost felt silly pleading with her old classmates.

"I think we should let Rhonda stay," Arnold finally spoke. "We can't just turn our backs on her." The others quietly nodded and mumbled to themselves except Helga, who crossed her arms and said nothing. "You're always welcome with us, Rhonda," Arnold said with a smile.

A few weeks passed and Rhonda had become popular among the kids in her own class. They found her smile to be contagious and all tried to be welcoming as they had all felt the wrath of Simone at some point or another within the last year. Meanwhile, Simone had refrained from asking Sid her usual question to give some time for the wonderment of Rhonda to die out. She finally floated over to Sid and asked, "Oh Sid who knows all about the Hillwood halls, who is the prettiest of them all?" Sid looked over at her and shook his head.

"You are pretty, Simone. This much is true but it is still Rhonda that is the prettiest of all," he responded before closing his locker. He shrugged and walked away. Simone was angered by this, unsure of what she should do. She looked at the poster announcing the Homecoming dance and thought of a scheme quick. "If you want something done," she continued. "You have to do it yourself."

The night of the dance, Rhonda entered the gymnasium in a beautiful blue and gold gown. Her short hair framed her thin face and her make-up only made her brown eyes seem softer, more beautiful. She was told to meet her new (old) friends at the dance near the back. As she was wondering around trying to find them, she was stopped by Simone, who was holding two cups of pink punch.

"Rhonda!" Simone smirked. "I hear that we are the two that are up for Homecoming queen." Simone held out her right hand, offering one of the cups to Rhonda. "Here's to good luck for the both of us."

Rhonda was unsure if she should take the cup. She was warned by Wolfgang not to enter the main hall because of Simone, she knew that Simone was harboring some kind of hatred for her. She grabbed the cup and looked down at it. Simone was possibly just being friendly, she thought. She looked at her old friend and lifted the cup. "To good luck," Rhonda replied. She took a sip and began to feel sleepy. "Whoa," she said as she dropped her cup. She immediately fell to the ground and everything went black.

Simone walked away, trying to get away from the scene of the crime but Rhonda's seven friends noticed Rhonda collapse. They walked over to Rhonda and tried to get her to wake up. "Rhonda?" Arnold said. No response. Stinky and Harold lifted her up and sat her in a chair.

"What are we doing just standing around?!" Helga exclaimed. "We all saw Simone walk away after Rhonda fell! We have to find her. She has something to do with this!" Although the others were quite shocked that Helga wanted to protect Rhonda, they had no time to discuss Helga's sudden change of heart. They all walked towards the stage that was set up for the dance and found Simone standing on it. They quickly went to confront her and surrounded her.

"Hey, what's the big idea?" Harold asked.

"Yeah," Stinky agreed.

"What are you dorks talking about?" Simone replied as she narrowed her eyes.

"We're ever so certain that you gave Rhonda something that made her collapse and fall asleep, Simone," Lila said.

"So what?" Simone replied, looking at her manicured finger nails. "What are you going to do about it?"

"You're not going to get away with that, Simone," Arnold threatened.

They began to close in on Simone, who immediately began to take defense. "Back off, dorks!" she screamed. This only startled Eugene, who tripped and ended up pulling on Simone's dress. She began to pull away from him but her dress ripped. She tumbled over and fell off the stage. She stood, so embarrassed she could die. She was standing in front of the entire school with only her bra and underwear shielding her body. She ran off towards the door and into the darkness, some could swear they hear her crying.

The seven friends returned to Rhonda, who was still slumped over a table sleeping. They sat down around her wondering what they should do when another old classmate waltzed over. "Is that Rhonda?" Curly asked. The seven kids just nodded their heads, feeling a bit defeated. "She looks so beautiful!" Curly exclaimed. He walked over to her and grabbed her hand, kissing it. To this, Rhonda's eyes slowly opened. She lifted her head to see Arnold, Helga, Harold, Eugene, Lorenzo, Stinky and Lila smiling all around her. She looked over at her hand, which Curly was still holding and stood up.

A voice interrupted their moment. "Students, if I could have your attention, please," the voice of their principal announced. "I have the results of the voting for Homecoming Queen!" He opened the envelope slowly and pulled out a small piece of paper. "And your 2013 Hillwood High Homecoming Queen is Rhonda Wellington Lloyd!" He paused for a brief applause. "Congratulations, Miss Lloyd!" As Rhonda walked up to the stage and was crowned, she realized she didn't need a plastic crown to know she was loved.

The next week, Rhonda returned to school and found that Simone had transferred to the high school in the next neighborhood over. She had received a new locker and began dating Curly. Although she was now spending more time in the main hall, she still took a trip down that old hallway with the dripping water and flickering lights and was always greeted by her true friends, the ones she should have known she had all along.


End file.
